Odds and Ends of the year

It always feels a little odd to me to block off time in years. After all, important personal, emotional, and political events do not seem to adhere to any sense of time in terms of years. To be sure, I could use a fresh start, but the start to a new year doesn’t carry the same optimism now as it did for me growing up. I’m used to demarcating things in years, but so much happens in a year, at the end what could I want but a new beginning for certain things and the end of others? I dispensed with resolutions last year and instead, focused on a few words I wanted to live, think about, or get closer to in the next year. 

These words were fragility, resilience, absurdity, and transparency.

I think reflecting on these words has changed me a lot. I wanted to live a life that wasn’t afraid to embrace these qualities and it led to a lot of mistakes. But mistakes and unhappinesses I created, chose, or can accept responsibility for, have value to me.
In a way, these words became a mantra for me and I thought about them when I was presented with choices. More often than not, they pushed me out of my comfort zone and challenged me to be fragile, transparent about that fragility, to love and not question the nonsensical, and to test the limits of my emotional endurance. In the coming year, I want to keep thinking about what it would look like for me to be good and to do good in my immediate community. I have also picked a few new words and I hope that they will be equally challenging. 

Throughout every year and every life, certain days, situations, and people have ways of making themselves important or memorable, some in great ways and some in sad ways. So I like resolutions. We can have so little choice in the external things that can impact our lives and making resolutions is a great way to remember and celebrate our choices, as long as they’re really ours, as long as we ask ourselves what it is that we want, apart from external forces.

Here’s to another year…one I hope will be a continuation of mistakes, exploration, and living. 

Health and happiness to you all,
Ling Ling


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