Yes, people are always surprised when I tell them I have commitment issues. You? They ask? You’ve been in so many relationships for long durations of time, and you’re never the one to leave or cheat. Precisely, I say. I lack the ability to commit to myself. I uproot my real, living and breathing body to be someone’s shadow. I liquefy my self so I can want what they want, eat what they eat, be whoever they need me to be, which is usually just another version of themselves. I know this, but knowing doesn’t seem to help; I’m not committed to what I know or learn. So you see, I have commitment issues. Even now, I can hardly wait to find someone who will let me peel off my skin and adhere.

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