have no lack of love, but what a gift to give you mine, to join my hands with all the women before me who have held your beautiful head. I was afraid this time of the absence you would leave, a firm footprint at the base of my heart, welling up slowly with salt water, an ache that last time spilled out, overwhelmed, and drowned me. I let that fear keep me from saying and touching and feeling and let’s be honest, loving you as much as I wanted. But the sun rose and dusted the waxy leaves of the houseplants with its golden pollen and as I watched the sun creep over the small hairs on your arms and chest, incinerating them with light, a stray flame crept over me. I watched the rosy pink dawn fill the spaces of your powerful body and as the long streaks of sun started to caress the length of your body, my cheeks flushed and I joined my heart with the sun in loving you, fully, warmly, without reservation.